Work environments are never easy, but they get a whole lot worse when a bully starts picking on their victim.
Their critical, negative, belittling and sidelining creates so much stress that their victim begins to crack. Then, it is a slow, scary crumble as the bully systematically stresses out their victim.
They can’t sleep, they can't do their job: feeling worthless and inferior. One night of insomnia turns into days, then weeks, then months.
Devoid of a sense of purpose or identity, many spiral into depression. The various cocktails of sleeping pills and anti-depressants don’t always work.
I've been bullied, and my support was better than some. My doctor and coach both knew what they were dealing with. My appointment went on for over an hour while my lovely doctor talked to me, asked me in a gentle way how I felt, fed me tissues as I continued to cry and was never critical. The tablets took a while to kick in. I felt like a loser having to take them, but they began to make a real difference. So much so my friends said how glad they were to see me smile again.
I was lucky to take time out to backpack through South America and Cuba. I needed this to get back into a world where I could thrive and put the past behind me. It worked.
Toxic workplaces are still rife. Leaders still turn a blind eye to the impact bullying has on their people. ‘Speak Up’ and ‘Anti Bullying‘ policies are not worth the paper they are written on because the leaders do not back them up. People are scared to take the bully to task as they fear reprisals. So they continue to be bullied and belittled, and made to feel useless until they break.
Hoping they have dodged a bullet, they leave or move sideways. They haven’t. If you don’t address it, it stays with you and you are much more susceptible to becoming a target again. You’ll end up starting your day with a pit of anxiety in your stomach.
It does not have to continue. I worked with my coach to sort out the mess in my head. It gave me focus and a goal.
I urge anyone who believes they are experiencing mental or physical health issues because of bullying to speak to someone, their GP or counsellor or even your coach because it doesn't go away.
I’ve got the badge. I know what it feels like. I know what you are going though. I speak from the heart, and my mission is to make sure you feel valued, included, and supported as I workwith clients to develop the right mindset to deal with this.
Everyone is different. And it can be approached in small, doable steps . Get in touch and let's have a coffee and a chat.
Kia pai te rā, have a good day
